I think about writing often. But the topics are always so elusive, right on the edge of my remembrance but too hazy to put into words. When my ideas settle down, I am immediately and continuously self-editing, discarding each thought as dull, uninteresting or unimportant.
What can I write about now?
I’m done with all the foster care rigamarole – no more training, paperwork, visits. We’ve taken down the gates at the top and bottom of the stairs. Gosh, I hated those gates. More than once I stubbed my toe or dropped everything trying to balance an armload of stuff and open the gates. I rebuke those gates.
Our adoption is official. Nana is happy and thriving. We are a family. What else is there to say?
Are you really interested in the totally terrifying and terrific threes? I mean Nana has the mood swings like a mug. She runs around jumping, singing and twirling like she is amped up on a case of Red Bull and then crashes in bundle of tears – oh, the tears, the sheer amount of tears – when its time for bed. Where did all this energy come from? When did you start crying at bedtime? What is the world is happening?
But the times when she is amped. Oh, man. It’s party time. We have dance breaks every day. She plays air guitar. Yeah, no idea where she got that from. She improvises words on songs. I’ll claim that one. She gets that from her Mama.
We cook dinner and desserts together while listening to 90’s music. I’m training her to be on MasterChef Jr and to be in a R&B girls group at the same time. I know she has a few years to go, but train up a child and all that jazz.
But ooh child, you are getting too big to pick up like a baby. How about I hold your hand and we walk together, okay, said while bent over trying to catch my breath.
By the way, did you know you have to buy whole new wardrobes for these children every year? Every shirt I put on her, I think, why is your belly button showing? It wasn’t even a gradual change. Just one day, her pants were flooding. I let her wear them anyway. *shrug* No one writes about that. I’m still salty no one told me to start saving up.
Wood and I finally have a babysitter. She’s booked twice next week. Hallelujah for grandmotherly ladies who love little children. She’s not expensive but that’s still money BEFORE we walk out the door. Did I mention that you need to start saving up?
So the point is, the writing on this blog may not focus on foster care and adoption so heavily. The reality is, we will always be an adoptive family and that will continue to affect our family in different ways but it won’t be the only thing we think about as we continue to develop as a family.
Hmmm, I guess I had a lot to write about. And so it continues…