As we get nearer to Nana’s final adoption data, I feel a sort of negative inertia. I wanted to have my family attend, but since they live out of town, no one could come during the middle of the week. I wanted to have a photographer there to do a mixture of family photographs and candid photos at the courthouse, but Wood seems to think I’m making it too complicated. I wanted to throw a celebration party but I haven’t moved far past the idea phase. I can’t seem to get motivated.
It’s times like this when you feel the acute loneliness that sometimes come with being an adoptive parent. With an actual child, people have a physical reminder of the change in your life and it’s a bit easier for them to celebrate with you. With adoption, it sounds like a lot of paperwork, and court dates and rigamarole. Nothing interesting to see here, right.
My family isn’t even excited. Nana has no idea what is going on and Wood is kind of like meh about the whole thing. How can you really celebrate if even the folks in your house aren’t up for the party? If I was going into labor, flights would be had, plans would be changed, folks would make arrangements to get here as soon as they could. But with adoption, everyone is like, what’s the big deal, she’s been with you already. It makes me feel like I should just shrug it off also.
In times like this, the best advice I can give myself is fake it until you make it. Keep pushing and moving even if no one else really understands. If you build it, they will come and all that jazz. So, the photographer has been booked and outfits have been identified. I’ll call some friends and work out the details of the party. With adoption, since the process is so different and new to most people, I’ve learned that you have to help people understand the times that should be celebrated. People want to be happy for you, but a lot of times, they just don’t know when. It’s a bit more work, but I know it will be worth it.