What I Won’t Miss

As we draw near to finalizing our adoption, I’m thinking of all the things that I won’t miss about the foster care system:

  • Written monthly reports: Each month we (read: I) detail her learning milestones, how she is getting along with us, at school, doctor’s appointments and their advice, and any issues.
  • Monthly shopping listing:  I’m required to detail everything we buy Nana – shoes, clothes, toys, coats, etc.  There is a tiny tinge of anxiety as I wonder if our listing look like we were taking good care of her.  Some months we didn’t buy too much.  *shrug*
  • Medicine Logs: Oh, how these are the bane of my existence!  A list of every time that you give your child medication and different logs for each medicine.  Can I just write it once and then write ditto down the page?
  • Caseworker visits: I actually didn’t mind these monthly visits.  The caseworkers from both my agency and CPS were so accommodating. They would often work with me and schedule their meetings on the same date and time.
  • Education requirements: I don’t mind learning but getting all those hours or education can be difficult.  While my agency participates in an education partnership with some other agencies, the number of sessions are still limited.  Some of the sessions don’t provide child care and some sessions go pretty late during the week.
  • Caregiver restrictions: The main reason why self-care lacks around these parts is because we cannot choose and hire our own babysitters.  Anyone that watches Nana (including  our family) needs to have FBI-fingerprint check, CPR certification and some other training required by our agency.   Respite providers don’t really live close to us AND we want to know who we would be letting our child spend time with.  So many hoops so we just stay home.
  • Name differences: Nana’s name and the name we call her are different so there is always this discrepancy that we have to explain to doctors, social workers, day care, etc.
  • Travel requests: we have gone on enough trips that Nana has her own frequent flyer number.  But each time we want to go we have to ask permission (which has not been a problem), wait for the paperwork and travel with it on our person.

When I really look at, this list is sooo short. Our process has been fairly simple and our caseworkers have been responsive, helpful and accommodating.  We have had no medical issues that require state intervention, no family visits, no additional therapists, no investigations.  All in all, we’ve been pretty blessed.  But I still can’t wait until it’s done.

What things won’t you miss about the foster care system?

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9 thoughts on “What I Won’t Miss

  1. I just found your blog and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your post about foster/adoption. We have just been approved to foster/adopt and now we find ourselves waiting again of course…the story of our lives these past 8 years due to fertility issues/fibroids. I can’t wait to listen to your podcast. Although I’ve wanted to be a mother for so long, I can’t help but have some anxieties about foster/adoption if I’m really honest about it. Anyways, I can’t wait to continue to read!!

    • I’m so glad you found out corner of the internet! Congratulations on being approved. I’d love to follow your story.
      Stay tuned as ABM and I continue to carve out space for POCs to connect and talk about our experiences with foster care and adoption

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