This transition into parenthood isn’t easy especially when you are growing into it with another person. There are many instances when I cringe at Wood’s parenting style and I’m sure he has an even longer list for me.
This morning I opened a box of alphabet puzzles for Nana. She got excited and hit the box while I was holding it and it dropped to the floor. She looked at me on surprise and was maybe even looking for a reprimand. I didn’t even acknowledge it and kept opening the puzzles. I didn’t interpret the behavior as malicious. I wasn’t expecting her to hit the box and was not holding it tightly. I didn’t see her hitting the box as an issue. To children, a box is just as much of a toy as the puzzle.
Wood asks me if I was going to address it.
You can’t just let her slap toys out of your hand.
I didn’t see it like that.
He sighs loudly and shows his hands to indicate that he is letting it go.
I know that this is just one of many conflicts that we will have about raising Nana. I feel like we should have a discussion but I’m not sure how to talk about this when it will seem like negating the way that we were raised. How would I express that toddlers shouldn’t be disciplined just for doing toddler things. That its okay for Nana to have feelings about what is happening to her, that its okay for her to cry if she is frustrated. That I don’t feel the need to entertain her all the time and that it’s okay if she doesn’t play with her toys “correctly.” That I don’t feel the need to correct every little thing and that I weigh what’s really important to focus on. That this is different than how I was raised as we were always loved but we were also shushed, corralled, pulled away from, and berated for the smallest things.
I’m hoping to do things a little differently.
P.S. I also cringe every time Wood calls himself “Da Da.” I don’t know why but that is like nails on a chalkboard. I would never say anything because he has the right to choose how he wants to identify himself. But man…really???