So Emotional

It’s been close to a month since I’ve written here and truth be told, I’ve missed ya’ll.  I’ve missed the outlet and I can’t really explain why I’ve been silent.  All these emotions rushing  around my head without the eloquence to really express how I feel is a bit frustrating.

So why are you so emotional Mimi?

Well, you may have been able to tell from our last post that we were experiencing some frustration.  We hadn’t gotten any calls that panned out to anything.  Our homestudy was being submitted but we weren’t even making it to the shortlist phase. So when my caseworker would call about submitting our name, I was like, yeah, okay and kept it moving.

Some weeks ago we went to a Waiting Families meeting for families that are waiting (duh) on adoptive placement.  When we introduced ourself, she says all extra nonchalantly, “oh yeah, you guys were selected to go to a RAS.”

Say what, say huh?  Uhmmm…ma’am.  How are you just going to drop a bomb like that and expect us to pay any attention to the rest of this session.   Really?

After the session she takes us into our office and proceeds to look through her emails for the email blast to tell us about the girl who we have been submitted for.  Have you ever watched someone fumble around on their computer and you just want to push them off their chair and type for them? Bless her heart. Good thing my mother trained me right because my hand was twitching.  It took everything for me not to

She was squinting over the top of her reading glasses and scrolling randomly.  She would open an email, squint and read part of it out loud.  Every time she would decide it wasn’t the right one, I would shift my weight.  I was doing everything in my power to keep it together.

Finally she pulled up a picture of a cute little girl, grinning up at us. Absolutely adorable.  She gave us the highlights of her story, which was tragic but contained nothing in the medical history of the parents that would cause us long-term concern.  The parental rights had already been terminated.  She had just turned two years old in January which was right at the edge of our preference of 0-2 years old.

Everything sounded fine to us but we were still walking away the same way we came in – childless.  To us, this was just the same ole process.  Get phone call, hear about a wonderful child, never hear anything, find out later we weren’t selected.  So like all the times before we just kept it moving.

But then February 6th came and life just changed.

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10 thoughts on “So Emotional

  1. Wow. As I read this, my heart broke for your struggle. I am praying that indeed this little girl will be yours. This journey is so emotional, but someday when it all comes together, it will be worth it! Be blessed my friend.

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