Losing weight…or just losing

One of the most challenging activities in my life now has been working out and losing weight. It’s funny how my thoughts about this have changed over the years. I look back at pictures and my weight has fluctuated all my life. I feel like this is my last chance before children come in the picture. Like if I don’t lose weight now, I will never get to that size once a child shows up and my focus turns to butts and bottles.

Strangely, I seem to be sabotoging this effort at every turn. I don’t work out like I should, I don’t cook as much as I should and I eat chocolate every night before I go to bed. I work out with a trainer twice a week and I can tell that even she is getting fed up with me. So what’s the deal.

Perhaps I’m scared. This weight loss is taking a LONG time. Around one pound a week. This is normal, but if you need to lose 40 lbs, well, that’s almost a whole year of trying. And then I need to maintain. The journey is scary but I need to decide soon how serious I am before I alienate everyone that is trying to help me.

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