Last night I had a nightmare. In the dream, I was supposed to be going to a conference and I was at home, hurrying around and throwing things into a suitcase. My mother drove me to the airport and as we drove up I realized that I didn’t put any business attire into the suitcase, only casual attire. Apparently, I thought I was going to party. So I asked my mom if we could stop at the store – for some reason I think it was K-mart, a store that I remember from my youth as we did most of our school shopping there, true working class. Anyway, she said she didn’t have any money and couldn’t help me. So I said, fine, I’ll buy some things in the airport.
I made it to the gate where the rest of my classmates were. I didn’t see any faces but it seemed to me like my traveling buddies from business school. Anyway, I left my luggage with them, and somehow started getting asked to do different things, run errands, fix problems, very much like a typical day at work. It was very exhausting and overwhelming and I just felt like I was being pulled in too many directions. When I finally got done, I went back to my luggage. My traveling partners were gone. My cell phone was sitting on top of my luggage and I saw that I had four missed calls. I tried to return the call but the calls wouldn’t go through because the phones had been switched off. I had been left.
I woke up with such a profound feeling of helplessness and loneliness. I was stressed from all the activities in the dream and just sad at having been left. It was about 4:30 AM so I called Bear. He was clearly sleep but woke up enough to listen to me. And when I finished, he said through his grogginess, ” Baby, I would come get you from the airport. You don’t have to be there by yourself.”
It gave me such a feeling of peace because I knew he would. I knew that if I got left at the airport, my baby would come and get me. And I just loved him because he knew the right thing to say, even though I woke him up from a dead sleep.
It’s the small things…
As an added note – I figured the running around and stress was my subconscious letting me know that I needed a mental health day. So I took one. Yay for me!