Marriage and Divorce in Mauritius

This morning I made arrangements to go parasailing. I couldn’t just sit on the beach all day. So around noon, a big Mauritian guy named Chulo came to pick me up and take me on my adventure. On the way, we stopped at another hotel, I assumed to pick someone up, but Chulo told me his wife works there. She quit him two weeks ago. Fin, as he put it. I asked why but he seemed to be at a loss. Poor papi chulo…

I arrived and was the only one to go out at that time. My gracious hosts were two Mauritians, Paupu and Naved. The ride there was amazing. This is the first place that I have been where it seems like you can actually see where the sky ends and the water begins. It’s like you can see the color of the sky and the color of the water and there is this thin bright blue line that separates them. It’s gorgeous.

They have me sit down in my haunches and they start letting out the line. I start going up in the air and I’m having so much fun. I’m waving my arms and yelling. Then I look at the contraption holding me. So you mean, if these metal things (that look suspiciously like bookbag straps) break then I fall butt-first into the water. I start thinking, what am I doing with my life. How many crazy things must you do before enough is enough: jet skiing and falling into the ocean in Thailand, bungy jumping off Victoria Falls, swimming with sharks in the Dominican Republic. Well, who cares. Who-hoo! I’m touching clouds man!

After my parasailing excursion, I decide to explore Grand Baie, a little shopping and tourist area. I have no idea where I am, or even how I am going to get home, but I figure that I might as well check it out while I am there. I just start walking and wander into a few shops. Every shop seems to only have clothes in sizes 0-2. The ladies all look at me like, “we have nothing for you, you fat American.” I stop and get some food off the street, a roti filled with peppers and some other stuff. It’s delicious and only 8 Rupees – which is like 25 cents. I keep walking and run into a gelato place. The owner is nice, her name is Anna. She says she has owned the place for 2 years and stays in Mauritius for 5 months and France for the other 7 months. Is that the life or what?

I start to get tired of walking around. I’m not planning to buy anything since they only make clothes in baby sizes. Plus, I’m not really a chotsky type of person. I hate buying stuff just to say I bought it somewhere. Sorry, god-daughter, there will be no necklaces made from real Mauritian sea shells on this trip. I buy some cheese and crackers to go with my wine tonight while trying to blot out what Sebastian told me yesterday – the worst thing about drinking by yourself is going to bed alone. F… you, Sebastian.

When I get back, I decide that I need more excitement. I want to go kayaking. The manager at the boat house is reluctant. The waves are pretty choppy today. Maybe tomorrow, he says. I explain that I will be gone tomorrow on an excursion and leaving the next day. He asks me where I’m from and I tell him from the US. His assistant slyly asks about my husband. I tell him that there is no husband. The boathouse manager is estatic. Hey! I’ve been looking for a wife to stay with me in Mauritius, hey says, grinning at me with 2 missing teeth and the remaining not far behind. If it gets me into that kayak today, I would agree to be his third wife. We make a deal and off I go.

After a few wrong turns where I almost run straight into the rocks, I get the hang of it and start pedaling towards the ocean when I hear screaming from the beach. Come back! Don’t go too far! I turn back reluctantly, but I stay right by the edge of the reef and make up my own little game where I row with all my might towards the incoming waves. As the waves crash over the boat, I just laugh. At one point, I was trying to get the water out of my boat and I happened to look up. A wave was coming. Unlike the other ones that kind of fizzled out towards the end and just slightly rocked my kayak, this one seemed to be gaining momentum Uh-oh. This one looks kind of scary. I start to row but the wave overpowers me and tips my boat to the side. My hair!!! I right myself and look back towards the beach. My husband to be is doubled over in laughter. Hmph. That right there is grounds for divorce!

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